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Changes

Life moves fast, and if we enjoy every moment of everyday, then we will find happiness no matter what happens or what changes along the way…Gretchen Bleiler. Our life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Often times major life changes do not give us advance warning such as a serious illness, sudden job lost or death of a love one. Honestly, none of us are immune to life changes. Our approach to life changes whether for the better or maybe not so good can impact our over all experience with change. Truthfully, our heart may still grieve over a major life change ( especially death of a love one) despite the passage of time. However, focusing on positive thinking hopefully will help us take one day at a time along with seeing others around us with a more empathy, kinder and understanding heart. Especially, if our identity is founded in our Creator who is always there for us. Honestly I find comfort in knowing with constant changes in my life, I can still rest my hope and faith in our never-changing loving Creator. That should give all of us going through so many changes in life a comforting feeling, like a loving parent. This week has seen changes in my life with M. My M started a new school this week that better serve different ability children. In my heart the change was difficult for me to absorb at first. I did cry. As a mom, I want M to have the best opportunities to thrive as a beautiful human being. Each day this week M seem to enjoy going to his new classroom with less anxiety. In fact when I pick him up from school M seem to be happy…humming away in his car seat. He wakes up saying “Schoo…Schoo…Mornin…Mornin!”  Then I say  “Yes M, you have school today. Yes, say good morning to everyone.” The change seems to have a positive influence on M so far. M has taught me these truths…watching him change in his speech, look, attitude, personality as he go from being my baby to my child is full of emotional turns and twists…having faith can help make life changes positively beautiful!

Simply an autism mom learning

 

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Music

Like sunshine, music is a powerful force that can instantly & almost chemically change your entire mood…Michael Franti. Perhaps as far back in our human history, the need to make music has been a dominant aspect of human biology. Music has healing powers. It can help us deal with pent-up frustrations, release sadness, refuge to a weary mind, motivational, and refreshment to our soul. I love the fact music can transport you away from whatever into a moment of melody, harmony, & rhythm creating a feeling of hypnotic peace. In truth music comes in all genres from classical to country along with everything in between. We can’t help but find a song that will wake us up, energize us or calm us down. Music gives us memories. All us have a song or songs that brings forth thoughts full of emotions. For me every time I hear the classic songs like ‘RESPECT’ or ‘STOP In The Name of Love’ or ‘My Girl’,  it takes me back to my momma kitchen. My siblings & I singing together. Although music is often written from one perspective or one objective in mind, it is so universal yet personal. Many people can take a song and feel or see it differently. Music can knock down barriers and open connection to our hearts. This past summer I remember being at a spiritual convention a song was played. I never met the couple next to me before but when that song ‘Preaching to All Sorts of People’ was played we all held hands with M and sung our hearts out. The rhythm of words and melody of musical instruments had even M calm. Yes, music give us great joy deep in our soul. It can can change our mood or day. Music is helping M learn so many things, especially some things he has difficulty expressing. Everyday M loves his Caleb & Sophia series becoming God’s Friend. They play beautiful up building songs for children. M was once non-verbal but of course explosion of language now. Some random and some becoming more purposeful. I love to hear M sing. However, I notice when someone is watching M does not sing. So I have to become a ninja to hear his sweet voice singing spiritual songs along with his program. M is teaching me marching to a different beat or a different drummer is still sweet music…helping him achieve what’s important with music priceless…rocking autism!

Simply an autism mom learning

Parenting

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children…Charles R. Swindoll. I have spent years in the field of early childhood education as a teacher. I spent countless hours helping young children believe in themselves and teaching them possibilities are endless with hard work. I was ecstatic and shock when at forty knocking, I was finally going to be a parent. I was going into it thinking I knew all the answers. After all, I have been around children my whole career. I have admiringly witness friends and family seemingly rocking parenting effortlessly. So imagine my discovery that I did not have the answers and was clueless to how much work parenting really entails. I remembered calling my mom at two a.m crying hysterically. I explained M would not sleep and I had not slept in three days. I could not get M to stop crying.  I honestly felt like I was losing my mind trying to be a parent to M. My mom bless her heart was so calm in the mist of my parenting melt down. Now looking back, I realize my mom parenting skills has influence my parenting of M. Although there are countless books on various parenting styles, I think in the end we often take cues from our parents on how to be a parent. In truth I finally understood the depth of my parents love when I became a parent. As parents we all have unique abilities and talents that help us navigate parenting our children. Parenting is a life changer. I have a different perspective of everything especially with M rocking the autism spectrum. In my heart I believe the end goal of parenting is to raise a child to be respectful, responsible, spiritual, and kind. Plus, help our child to develop a positive self-esteem. In honesty I found there is no perfect parents. In fact, we’re all trying our best to be what our child need according to their own particulars or nature. The uncertainty of parenting can create within us frustration. Although parenting skills is a personal subject, I find it refreshing when other parents are unafraid to admit not always getting it quite right. Yet each day like me,  they keep trying to do their best at parenting.  M is teaching me these truths…parenting is my most boldest & daring  adventure…my parenting skills is constantly readjusting according to M development level…above all I love being Ms’ parent!

Simply an autism mom learning

Encouragement

“Encouragement helps you to go one step more, become better”-Hubert de Givenchy. Words are a powerful force available to humanity. We have a choice to use such power to be constructive or destructive. In my heart I would love to believe everyone uses their words to help or heal their fellow mankind…especially ones who are downhearted. Encouragement is a stimulus that help us feel an integral part of something or someone. Yes, encouragement inspire us to become more. True, we’re all unique or different in our abilities & circumstances. However, every last one of us need encouragement. I love the fact that we can demonstrate encouragement by means of a listening ear, honest heartfelt words, a hug, a smile or giving of our time. I personally cherish Ms’ way of encouraging me. He sometimes come sat by me and without a word place his hands in mine. In those moments Ms’ humming become a sweet lullaby of encouragement. In honesty just like love & kindness, encouragement is infinite. We can get a fresh dose of it everyday…no need to hoard. In fact, when we encourage others we become encourage as well…a beautiful process. The feeling we made a difference in someone life is priceless. We should not underestimate the value family encouragement because it brings out the best in us. Interestingly, we should take a personal interest in what others are doing or thinking because it often produces a much more powerful form of encouragement. Sometimes we may think our words or action is small but for that individual we took the time to encourage it could mean the world. I personally appreciate the encouragement from others on the autism journey and kindness of supporters. They help me remember to rely on my Creator for strength and courage. Ms’ unpredictable autism journey is teaching me with love and encouragement…we can do more & move forward with confidence.

Simply an autism mom learning

Heart

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Above all the things that you guard, safeguard your heart, for out of it are the sources of life..Proverbs 4:23.

 

Our heart is the foundation for the development of divine virtues such as faith, love, patience, kindness, & thankfulness. Thus, our thinking is forever link to our heart. Hence, what is in our heart is manifest in our ideas, goals, dreams, desires & hopes leading to action. Sadly, our hearts can have hidden dark sides that produce within us pride, envy, hate, anger, resentment or prejudice. In honesty, that makes our imperfect human heart never simple. We can despise our fellow-man in one breath & the next breath have a change of heart to see them in the reflection of our Creator image. In truth, our inner heart is not mechanical nor predictable. Yes, our heart can be seduced or influence by popular opinions. That is why it is a struggle to maintain a virtues heart conquering depravity.  Interestingly, our heart can be fragile. We can be full of empathy seeing or understanding we’re all more alike than we’re unalike. On the other hand, our heart can ache over injustices or unfairness we witness. In general, I love to think everyone’s heart yearns for the beauty of life. We in our hearts want to have a chance to fulfill our hopes & dreams. The same holds true to being parents. We want our children to cultivate a virtues heart and have possibilities. Our children see us. Our heartfelt actions speak more to their hearts than any words. My mom was a beautiful blessed example for me to see an imperfect human being having heart. She demonstrated a kind & loving heart even when someone was unkind to her. Before she passed, I asked my mom how she was abled to maintain such a big heart when often times people made her cry by their actions or unkind words. She said “Tammy, you must see pass them & see Jehovah, God…no matter what you show love and kindness….keep that in your heart & Jehovah, God will take care of everything else.” Her words still hold true today, I want to instill in M a virtues heart. Despite the struggles M is having at school, M makes it a habit to say ‘Bye, Bye’ to everyone he sees in the school regardless if they understand or accept his uniquess. M is teaching me having  HEART is divine!

Simply an autism mom learning

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