Month: December 2018

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children…Charles R. Swindoll. I have spent years in the field of early childhood education as a teacher. I spent countless hours helping young children believe in themselves and teaching them possibilities are endless with hard work. I was ecstatic and shock when at forty knocking, I was finally going to be a parent. I was going into it thinking I knew all the answers. After all, I have been around children my whole career. I have admiringly witness friends and family seemingly rocking parenting effortlessly. So imagine my discovery that I did not have the answers and was clueless to how much work parenting really entails. I remembered calling my mom at two a.m crying hysterically. I explained M would not sleep and I had not slept in three days. I could not get M to stop crying.  I honestly felt like I was losing my mind trying to be a parent to M. My mom bless her heart was so calm in the mist of my parenting melt down. Now looking back, I realize my mom parenting skills has influence my parenting of M. Although there are countless books on various parenting styles, I think in the end we often take cues from our parents on how to be a parent. In truth I finally understood the depth of my parents love when I became a parent. As parents we all have unique abilities and talents that help us navigate parenting our children. Parenting is a life changer. I have a different perspective of everything especially with M rocking the autism spectrum. In my heart I believe the end goal of parenting is to raise a child to be respectful, responsible, spiritual, and kind. Plus, help our child to develop a positive self-esteem. In honesty I found there is no perfect parents. In fact, we’re all trying our best to be what our child need according to their own particulars or nature. The uncertainty of parenting can create within us frustration. Although parenting skills is a personal subject, I find it refreshing when other parents are unafraid to admit not always getting it quite right. Yet each day like me,  they keep trying to do their best at parenting.  M is teaching me these truths…parenting is my most boldest & daring  adventure…my parenting skills is constantly readjusting according to M development level…above all I love being Ms’ parent!

Simply an autism mom learning

“Encouragement helps you to go one step more, become better”-Hubert de Givenchy. Words are a powerful force available to humanity. We have a choice to use such power to be constructive or destructive. In my heart I would love to believe everyone uses their words to help or heal their fellow mankind…especially ones who are downhearted. Encouragement is a stimulus that help us feel an integral part of something or someone. Yes, encouragement inspire us to become more. True, we’re all unique or different in our abilities & circumstances. However, every last one of us need encouragement. I love the fact that we can demonstrate encouragement by means of a listening ear, honest heartfelt words, a hug, a smile or giving of our time. I personally cherish Ms’ way of encouraging me. He sometimes come sat by me and without a word place his hands in mine. In those moments Ms’ humming become a sweet lullaby of encouragement. In honesty just like love & kindness, encouragement is infinite. We can get a fresh dose of it everyday…no need to hoard. In fact, when we encourage others we become encourage as well…a beautiful process. The feeling we made a difference in someone life is priceless. We should not underestimate the value family encouragement because it brings out the best in us. Interestingly, we should take a personal interest in what others are doing or thinking because it often produces a much more powerful form of encouragement. Sometimes we may think our words or action is small but for that individual we took the time to encourage it could mean the world. I personally appreciate the encouragement from others on the autism journey and kindness of supporters. They help me remember to rely on my Creator for strength and courage. Ms’ unpredictable autism journey is teaching me with love and encouragement…we can do more & move forward with confidence.

Simply an autism mom learning

Above all the things that you guard, safeguard your heart, for out of it are the sources of life..Proverbs 4:23.

Our heart is the foundation for the development of divine virtues such as faith, love, patience, kindness, & thankfulness. Thus, our thinking is forever link to our heart. Hence, what is in our heart is manifest in our ideas, goals, dreams, desires & hopes leading to action. Sadly, our hearts can have hidden dark sides that produce within us pride, envy, hate, anger, resentment or prejudice. In honesty, that makes our imperfect human heart never simple. We can despise our fellow-man in one breath & the next breath have a change of heart to see them in the reflection of our Creator image. In truth, our inner heart is not mechanical nor predictable. Yes, our heart can be seduced or influence by popular opinions. That is why it is a struggle to maintain a virtues heart conquering depravity.  Interestingly, our heart can be fragile. We can be full of empathy seeing or understanding we’re all more alike than we’re unalike. On the other hand, our heart can ache over injustices or unfairness we witness. In general, I love to think everyone’s heart yearns for the beauty of life. We in our hearts want to have a chance to fulfill our hopes & dreams. The same holds true to being parents. We want our children to cultivate a virtues heart and have possibilities. Our children see us. Our heartfelt actions speak more to their hearts than any words. My mom was a beautiful blessed example for me to see an imperfect human being having heart. She demonstrated a kind & loving heart even when someone was unkind to her. Before she passed, I asked my mom how she was abled to maintain such a big heart when often times people made her cry by their actions or unkind words. She said “Tammy, you must see pass them & see Jehovah, God…no matter what you show love and kindness….keep that in your heart & Jehovah, God will take care of everything else.” Her words still hold true today, I want to instill in M a virtues heart. Despite the struggles M is having at school, M makes it a habit to say ‘Bye, Bye’ to everyone he sees in the school regardless if they understand or accept his uniquess. M is teaching me having  HEART is divine!

Simply an autism mom learning

We can feel joy even while having a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad year…Russell M. Nelson. Joy is a feeling we obtain by means of our thinking or action. We can have joy despite our problems. Our life is a series of highs and lows. However, we’re able to keep moving forward finding joy because we have come to an understanding nothing is too great or too small or insignificant for our Creator power to handle or conquer. We encounter joy in various moments in our life such as watching the beauty of humming birds or hearing our child laugh. The most precious forms of joy often comes from things money can not buy. We can not plan joy because many times it actually comes from places we least expect it…like M randomly giving me a hug. In truth our joy can be hindered if we’re always running never stopping to relax or regroup or savoring time with love ones. I see joy in finding time for others. Sometimes in the process of spending time with others we may experience a moment of anguish or we may not receive anything in return. However, we should not let that stop us from showing kindness, love, patience or understanding to others especially love ones. Our joy comes from knowing we did our very best. Also, our being thankful help turn everyday routine into joy. Last night during M bed time routine, M wanted me to sing. Yes, I am no Arthea Franklin or Celine Dion. As a parent, we all know it’s beautiful to awaken within our child the joy of creative expression. Hence, M and I sung our hearts out to ‘Baby Shark…doo doo doo’ pretending the hair brush was our microphone. In honesty I felt joy when M looked at me as if I was awesome, that was priceless for me. The feeling of appreciation & valued by a love one is pure joy. M is teaching me these truths…let go & trust our Creator by doing so releases an inner joy… time spent with love ones bring about JOY….Baby Shark, Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo! 

 Simply an autism mom learning

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase…Martin Luther King Jr.  Faith is an intimate connection we have with our Creator, believing He actually exist and has personal interest in our well-being. Faith can not be inherited nor can it be bought but rather it’s a virtue that we develop over time base on our own unique life experiences that manifest us to believe.  Our faith requires us to face the unknown while trusting our Creator to know what is best and will give us strength. Prayer is our channel of communication with our Creator. A beautiful gift that we should hold dear. Our faith is the illuminating light in the deepest darkest moments of our life.  Thus, faith can shatter the most mountainous of obstacles.  In truth, just as we put faith in our Creator in turn He put faith in us to seek kindness and goodness in others. Of course, to have faith doesn’t mean we will not get frustrated at times. In honesty its having the right attitude that no matter what happens the final outcome rest with our Creator. Hence, although on paper M may not appear to be typical. We have faith that M possibilities is unlimited and not completely define by autism. Our M is gifted with potential strength and ability to become amazing. Tonight M said “Payer, Payer” aka prayer. He bowed his head. Afterward, he said “men” aka amen.  M is teaching me that one of the most important thing I can share with him is having faith …believing beyond the power of our imperfect reason …to see all things are possible with our Creator.

Simply an autism mom learning