Month: August 2019

Part of the power of storytelling is reassurance, offering hope to those sat in the darkness, that good can succeed and wrong doing fail…Charles Sturridge.  It’s hard to believe a year has past, since our first M’s Story was shared in hope of reassurance.  Initially, our life story on the autism spectrum was about wanting to inspire others to better understand children like our M.  However, I discovered in the process M’s Story brought about reassurance, we’re not alone in our autism journey.  This past weekend we attended our ‘Love Never Fails’ convention.  We stayed in a hotel that had elevators.  Each time M got onto the elevator, he would cling to me.  He needed to feel safe and was seeking reassurance it was going to be OK.  “One more, One more!”, he kept repeating each time the elevator would stop at a floor.  “Yes M, I got you”, I responded.  Each time someone would get on or off  the elevator, M would cling tight to me and humm loud.  Next to our last stop a woman got onto the elevator with a child.  They were wearing a convention badge too.  Her son was wearing bright red noise cancellation headphones.  It was an eureka moment, we looked at each other and instantly knew, we were both on the autism journey.  Although we briefly chatted, I felt reassurance that as parents we’re doing the best we can with help from our Creator.  We gave each other reassuring hugs before exiting the elevator.  Even in adulthood, we’re still grasping for reassurance of love and support.  I do have understanding to M the outside world is bigger, loud and more colorful…his sense of alarm need our reassurance.

Simply an autism mom giving & receiving reassurance

We want to thank everyone for supporting M’s Story.

The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic.  It requires the most intense love on the mother’s side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent…Erich Fromm.  As I watched M finally resting peacefully after an allergic reaction scare, I reflected on how much M was becoming more independent.  Around one something last Saturday morning, I awoke to an odd sound coming from M’s room.  We discovered M struggling to breathe and with swollen eyes.  It was a parent nightmare.  M could not tell us what was wrong.  We quickly tried to comfort M while trying to access the situation.  However, M refused to be comforted and became more hysterical at my attempt to help him.  He kept rubbing his eyes, as if trying to make it better himself.  Finally, we just had to grab him and rushed out the house to nearest emergency room hospital.  All the while M fought us, not understanding we’re trying to help.  As a parent, I know it’s important to teach a child a measure of independents.  However,  I grew up with my siblings learning and understanding from our parents to carry ourselves in a positive way but never independent from our Creator.  Yes, I want M to have ideas, opinions, or principles; a reasonable measure of independent.  I want him to understand that independent doesn’t mean you will never need anyone, rather it’s about being driven or having goals in line with our Creator’s will.  Hence I find it a balancing act of wanting M to learn from everyday experiences to make better choices,  all the while teaching him to pray for help.  True, my heart do ache to help M in his time of stress even when he was trying to solve it himself.  Eventually, M did received two shots to counteract the swelling and breathing problem.  Of course, it did take five of us to help the doctor administer the shots into M.  Sadly, we still haven’t determine exactly what trickered M allergic reaction.  Hence we’re keeping a close watch, along with trying to teach M it’s ok to get  ‘HELP’ when something is wrong…while trying to be independent!

Simply an autism mom learning

If during childhood, you were fortunate to have a parent who drilled into you, ‘You can be anything you want to be if you try hard enough at it’, and then supported you in actions, that is something you take with you all your life…Mark Goulston.  Our childhood is an intricate part of our life story.  Childhood is where our foundation for learning necessities of life begin.  We build upon understanding how to handle emotional stresses, consequences for our actions, and overcoming our limitations.  Truthfully, each of these childhood growing processes can produce beautiful qualities of endurance, persistence, patience, kindness, honesty, hope, faith and responsibility; especially if we were bless with a grandparent or parent that bestowed upon us love and a spiritual heritage.  Sadly, some experience emotional/physical wounds during childhood.  It breaks my heart to know many are struggling to find themselves because  innocence of childhood were stolen.  I do have faith that every single childhood matters to our loving Creator. (Psalm 34:18)  Perhaps, everyone growing up has a childhood hero.  Mine was my mom and dad.  Honestly, it was not until I became grown that I realized they were beautifully imperfect humans.  However, in my childhood they were amazing and could do everything without a cape.  Maybe, that was my childhood development of creativity, wonder, and imagination.  I am thankful and bless to be reliving childhood from M perspective.  Today on the way home, I started singing ‘Old McDonald’.  A childhood favorite song of mine.  “E i, E i, O!” was M favorite part to say.  He would laugh each time he said it.  In those peaceful moments we connected. How ironic, in my childhood I couldn’t wait to be an adult; now in my adulthood I do enjoy the wonder of childhood.  I do love M’s childhood being a part of my life story.  Truthfully each day M childhood bring about unique experiences, I am hoping his childhood be full of moments that will inspire him to keep going…regardless of a cape…autism rocking!

Simply an autism mom hoping

Everyone has a different life story.  Things happen rapidly for some, and things more slowly for others…Barun Sobti.   We’re all gifted with a life story.  Finding and understanding our purpose by our Creator, I think it’s what will give our life story true beauty.  Everyday we face real life situations, thus making some life story more complicated than others.  However everyday we live, we write a page in our life story.  Yes, each day is a blank/fresh page waiting for us to fill it with our life choices and even our mistakes.  Our yesterdays become pages of  our history.  True, sometimes our pages in our life story are filled with pain and heartache.  Perhaps, that’s why some prefer to keep their life story private.  However, in my heart I believe at the end of everyone’s page there is hope.  Perhaps our life story not only has pages but chapters, maybe each chapter feature a comedy or a drama or a romance.  Whatever the chapter or page, our life story may hold a message of inspiration for someone, even sometimes when we feel our life story is falling apart.  Yet even when we’re overwhelm in writing our life story, our faith steady our hands to keep writing.  I am finding motherhood to be a unique chapter in my life story.  My pages in this chapter is full of emotions and responsibilities.  M has given me some beautiful things to add to my life story.  It’s because of M that I was inspired to pen my first book ‘My Puzzle… Complete Book 1: An Autism Tale’.  I wanted to share M’s life story on the autism spectrum so young children his age can understand and connect.  M everyday is reminding me, we can be uplifting to one another by filling our life story with kindness…more importantly with pages illuminating of our Creator love for us!

Simply an autism mom writing

M’s Story