Month: March 2019

The child in you, like all children, loves to laugh, to be around people who can laugh at themselves & life. Children instinctively know that the more laughter we have in our lives, the better…Wayne Dyer. A life full of love, peace of mind and laughter is a blessing. Perhaps, laughter can be sweet music to our soul. I don’t know all the medical/scientific benefits of laughter. However, I do know from experience laughter makes me happy especially when it’s honest to goodness humor. My whole body is engage. I can laugh so hard that tears fall and my stomach start to hurt. Laughter relieves me of so much tension even when dealing with difficult situations/issues. Honestly, we all have various level of problems but laughter can connect us. True, it can be hard to find some measure of humor in our problems but laughter is a gift to help us cope. Yes, in life someone will make us upset but then they can say or do something to make us laugh melting our heart. Our holding on to anger, resentment or hurt can rob our happiness. On the other hand, forgiveness give us room to allow laughter/joy in our life. Maybe laughter should be a good healthy part of our various relationships. After all, we all need a little bit of a sense of humor about our own flaws. I think when M see me laugh at my own silly wiliness/mistakes, hopefully it helps him be o.k with being himself/human. Yesterday, I misplace my glasses. I was looking everywhere. I even asked M had he seen my glasses. M just laughed. I kept looking all over the house. Finally feeling defeated, I sat down next to M. He reached up and pulled off my glasses on top of my head! I was like really. I hugged and thanked M. I could not help but laugh at my own forgetfulness and M perhaps thinking mom being silly. M laughing is a joyous sound to me…one of the best part of being a mom. M is teaching me everyone needs love and laughter so find a reason in the little things to laugh each day…simple things in life can make us happy!

Simply an autism mom learning

The truth is, we all face hardships of some kind, and you never know the struggles a person is going through. Behind every smile, there is a story of a personal struggle-Adrienne C. Moore.  The truth we don’t know what each day will bring, we can only have faith and hope that we make each day count. As a parent of a child with autism, truth is speaking and living each moment dispelling any false pretenses. Autism does not erase typical traits of being a child. In truth, it compounds or add additional layers of issues that make our parenting more changeling. One moment you can be rocking and rolling, but the next you’re standing in the hallway with your five-year old screaming with poop all over them because he/she was suddenly hit with diarrhea (unable to tell you ‘hey my stomach hurt need to go to bathroom’). Truth is M loves to be silly and have fun like every child. What child has not enjoyed jumping up/down in their bed! Yes, it’s true I still hold M accountable for things such as putting his toys away or unacceptable behavior like being disrespectful (sometimes if M does not want to do what I say he may hit his leg/meaning he do not want to do it). Truth is each parent with a child rocking autism knows when their child uniqueness comes into play. Yesterday, I took M to the doctor. M inability to fully communicate and understand led to his action automatically going into flight or fight mode. It’s true he fought me while we’re trying to help him get better. True it took about four of them to hold him for the exam, I really appreciated the nurse talking calmly to M and reassuring him it’s going to be o.k. After the exam, M said “MOM”. He leaned into my arms and allowed me to comfort him. I said “I love you”. Honest to goodness it takes a lot of patience to see pass his actions so as to remain calm during the difficult times. Truly not everyone can relate/connect with our autistic child uniqueness. I do understand this truth because honestly it’s not always easy for me that is why I pray all the time for help. Truth is having courage to ask for help and hoping I am doing right by M. It maybe shocking but truthful, I think our stress doesn’t come from being parents of a different ability child. Perhaps, it come more from our thinking about what is happening or issue at hand. M is teaching me that truth is a point of view…if you see us with our amazing child whether in our struggles or happiness have heart and understanding.

Simply an autism mom learning

To effectively communicate, we must realized that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others-Tony Robbins. Communication is a skill we learn. It can be digital that give us surface insight or face to face that give us depth insight of another individual. We’re constantly readjusting our communication skills according to each human connection we encounter. Honestly, this take our willingness to work at effective and honest communication. Hence, I am learning the importance to really understand nearly 80% of communication is about listening and observing non-verbal cues. The inspired writings is faithful and true “everyone must be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19). I found keeping this truth about communication helpful in establishing mutual respect and peace in my various human relationships. Interestingly, our emotions can often complicate our communication with family or friends. This can lead to miscommunication causing us problems. I find comfort in prayer when miscommunication happens within my relationship with a family member or friend. In truth, prayer is the most deepest intimate communication we all have with our Creator. It helps me to remember to look for the good in a person even when it’s hard re-opening loving communication of appreciation and understanding. Autism does affect each individually communication skills differently. M is progressing in his communication skills. He is gaining words along with sign language to communicate basic needs or wants. I think it’s a beautiful thing when a parent can communicate with their child. M and I have a unique communication style. Everyday I ask M how was his day at school. M sometimes just hum, smile or now say ‘patience’. Yes, M does not respond like perhaps a typical child. However, I find happiness/joy in the fact he is communicating with me. As every parent with a child experiencing a different ability that affect their child communication skills, I get excited and proud of my M chipping away at obstacles his autism bring forth. I am so bless and thankful for M having good therapists/teachers to help with his communication skills. M is teaching me to continue to have patience, faith and hope that one day my M would no longer have a barrier that hinder him from fully communicating…a beautiful gift of expressing heartfelt thoughts and emotions!

Simply an autism mom learning

Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time…Jim Rohn. Our time is a very precious commodity. It can never be stored or saved. Yet everyday we live and breathe, we give away our precious time. I think that is why we need to prioritize our time each day. Hopefully, our priceless time everyday encompass a spiritual connection with our Creator. After all, that is our bless obligation as human beings. I have learned this time spent connecting and meditating help recharge my often emotional exhausted soul. I gain inner peace and strength which help me to be patient with M. Honestly everyday we’re gifted, we should choose to focus our time and energy around individuals who inspire/support us in becoming our best. We’re all granted twenty-four hours a day to always do what is right not just for ourselves but towards our fellow mankind. If we slow down or not rush or expect everything be done in an instant, we will notice the blessings of patience and time. The simple things like spending quality time with family/friends or investing time in a meaningful goal will bring us happiness. Truthfully, I enjoy taking time to watch creation at work such as humming birds while sipping hot tea on our patio. Of course, I can’t forget about time with M blowing bubbles outdoors! Yes, taking time to make another beautiful human being feel important in our life is awesome. Time does change everything. It seem like yesterday, I was bringing M home from the hospital. This past weekend M lost his first baby tooth. He actually did not get overly hysterical about it. Instead, M used his calming words ‘OK & PATIENCE’. I was proud of M letting us wipe the blood away and collect the loose tooth out his mouth. Our M is progressing. M is teaching me these truths…we’re at our best and happiest when we take time everyday to connect with our Creator making our life more purposeful and wonderful…always treasure our time with family and friends…oh how time flies while creating memories with M!

Simply an autism mom learning

Patience doesn’t mean making a pact with denial, ignoring our emotions and aspirations. It means being whole heartily engaged in the process that’s unfolding, rather than ripping open a budding flower or demanding a caterpillar hurry up and get that chrysalis stage over with…Sharon Salzberg. I am learning raising  an autistic child  build within you an inner strength founded on hope and faith. I am so thankful for family, friends and M’s autism community to help with challenges or difficulties. Living with and loving an individual with autism takes on a different perspective in life. For example, understanding how M communicate emotions or feelings takes a lot of patience. M can have meltdowns due to sensory overload in trying to express tiredness, hunger, pain, scared, or excitement especially all at once. Imagine canoeing in a peaceful stream of water, then all of a sudden hitting turbulence waters that begin tugging or pulling the canoe in different directions. Now, imagine how hard it would be to navigate those turbulent waters without a paddle or proper training on how to handle such situations. Life causes us to feel so many different emotions or feelings sometimes all at once. Our brain quickly process such rapid emotions or feelings in order for us to make adjustments. In M’s case connections to what emotions goes with what response along with adding words all at once can be overwhelming. However, M is making some progress in connecting words with objects and emotions by means of therapy. This morning M awoke at 3:45 a.m. He was emotionally tired, scared and frustrated. I had to find my inner strength to remain patient and calm while M worked out his emotions. He used his sensory calming strings and his music (JW.ORG children series Caleb & Sofia) to adjust emotions. Yes this process took some time, around 5 a.m. but he achieved emotional PEACE! M is teaching me emotions can derail our communication but exercising patience along with faith can help us overcome.

Simply an autism mom learning