“I will not run and hide…with eyes of faith, I see beyond the darkness. With eyes of faith, there’s nothing more to fear…I can move a mountain. With eyes of faith, my hope is sure…”-(http://www.jw.org Sing Out Joyfully song #156 With Eyes of Faith)
The season of spring is all around us. It’s during this time that we often contemplate the life and celebration of Jesus Christ. How he has affected M’s life? These past two years M has transform into a teenager. He has undergone many changes not only in school, medical doctor/therapists/ but home life as well. Yes, he struggled initially with all the changes. The sleepless nights and back to back emotional/mental break downs were draining on his body. Honestly, looking into M’s eyes when he is having an emotional/mental break is hard. In these moments he is not rational. My words to him has to be short and to the point. My actions has to calm and consistent. For example, around 6:40 p.m yesterday M began hysterically crying. He sought refuge in our bathroom with the vent turn on. True, I clocked the time because M has a routine of taking his evening medications. We instantly went to check his behavior. We wanted to understand what caused him to suddenly switch from happily stemming with his straws in the den. I tried getting him to use his talking device to communicate if something was hurting him. Still, he just pushed me away to get out of the bathroom. Noteworthy, he did not have to use the restroom. M has selected areas of the house he consider safe. In that moment, I have learned to step back and take a deep breath. No, it’s not easy. My first instinct was to just grab him and hug him tightly. I want him to know I love him and I am here for him. But experience has taught me something. It’s alright to just sit outside the door. I calmly let him know I am here. The reasoning for listening and staying outside the bathroom door was for M’s safety. We did use his weighted vest and calming medication. It took some time for all this to regulate M’s nervous/mental system. While this was happening, I would look into the bathroom every now and then. I wanted to make sure M was not doing anything unsafe. Additionally, I would clasp my hand together to remind him to use safe hands. Later, M finally leveled down his emotions and came out the bathroom. He asked for a kiss kiss on his forehead. His way of letting me know he loves me. I had him to look at me. In his eyes, I see the wondrous future God has in store for him. Hence, my reflection on Jesus Christ life and death for M. On April 2nd this year, we will celebrate Jesus Christ death (Memorial) after sun down. It is this that help M and I see beyond the trails or complications being on the autism spectrum disorder. True, attending in person will be very difficult for M. He suffers with overwhelming anxiety being in crowds, loud noises, unfamiliar faces (process), evening outing, and bright lights. All these combinations takes a heavy toll on his physic/physical body. No amount of medication can combat these external factors effectively, unless M medically put to sleep. I am thankful since COVID the use of various technology (Zoom). M’s hope of one day being set free to be all that he can be (Rom. 8:21) is the benefits of the ransom by Jesus being fully applied in God’s new world.
Simply an autism mom seeing
M's Story 