Becoming A Friend

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“A true friend shows love at all times, And is a brother who is born for times of distress” Proverbs 17:17. Our life is lively with endless possibilities of becoming the person we want to be. As imperfect humans it takes concentrated efforts to be kind, peaceful, forgiving, compassionate, understanding, thankful, giving, honest-heart and humble. The world around us often does not reflect such beautiful qualities. However, growing up my mom would tell us “We do not get to choose what family we’re born into but we can choose who we surround ourselves with.” She would always encourage my siblings and I to become a friend to our Creator first because from there we would learn the foundation of being a friend. (James 2:23) Now as a parent myself, I want M to learn about becoming a friend to our Creator. I was so grateful in 2012 the series ‘Become Jehovah’s Friend’ was produced by Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania. Since M learn better by repetition, music, one on one, love and patience; these series of videos have been a beautiful blessing in his development of becoming a friend. He is learning that our Creator loves and value him. Thus, he too can take interest in others and be a friend. Two of his favorite videos to replay over and over is ‘Jehovah Will Help You Be Bold’ and ‘Making Friends’. We have downloaded the jw.org app on all electronic devices. This has been a real joy for M both at home and when traveling. We have learned to make sure all devices are fully charged before leaving home, so M has needed comfort items (straws, strings and electronic device) in his hand. This week we had to take M to the doctor after noticing him repeatedly hitting his head. It was discovered he was suffering from double ear infection. Through the whole process M kept playing the video ‘Jehovah Will Help You Be Bold’. “Help, help!” M would yell when he wanted us to reboot the electronic device when it would freeze from hitting replay over and over. Today, he seem to be getting his pep back and of course finding comfort in watching ‘Become Jehovah’s Friend’ series. There is a lot of things that come with choosing or becoming a friend. I want M to have the increase capacity for love, level of patience and a door of possibilities. After all, a true friend would aspire us to become our best self possible. Whether some friends maybe with him for a season or life span, I want M to always hold onto the best friend all of us can enjoy and appreciate our loving Creator Jehovah, God.

Simply An Autism Mom

Finding Our Way Home

We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly…Sam Keen. Often finding our way home has little to do with the physical things we see, rather it’s everything to do with the way we mentally process them. These past months has been a long road finding our way mentally home. The Covid-19 pandemic brought about so much disruption in our world. For M and I it has been like putting puzzle pieces back together again, after having it torn apart. Often our daily routine was reset differently. This took a toll on our mental health. We try to be prepared but things never always go the way we expect. It’s those things we don’t see coming that we struggle to balance the joy and frustration of life. I love to believe that the older we get we don’t mind adjustments or changes. However, the truth is no matter the age we do mind. Even after Covid-19 virus left me, the lingering symptoms remained for months. There were days or moments where I felt like my brain was in a fog. Sometimes M and I would be in the middle of doing a lesson for his virtual learning and my memory or thought would go blank. On days where I felt not myself mentally, M would come up to me and ask “OK, OK?”. M showing concern for my well being brought me to tears. I am suppose to be the strong one, keeping all his puzzle pieces together. So when I look into his brown eyes, I think ‘I just can’t….’ Faith and trust in Isaiah 41:10 keeps me holding on. Everyone define their way home differently, honestly for M and I it’s about finding the positive in our stumbles so we can keep putting our puzzle back together. M taught me that it’s OK for him to see mommy is not perfect but together we can develop compassion, understanding and love for one another.

Simply an autism mom putting a puzzle back together one piece at a time

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The Talk

The greatest lesson I learned that year in Mrs. Henry’s class was the lesson Dr. Martin Luther King , Jr. , tried to teach:  Never judge people by the color of their skin.  God makes each of us unique in ways that go much deeper…Ruby Bridges.  These several weeks has been difficult for M.  I struggled with talking to M about the changes in our world.  How do you talk to a child, who see the glass not as half full or half empty but how it look from underneath?  M school was shut down in mid March due to the Covid-19 pandemic.  This greatly impacted his daily routine.  All his therapeutic services came to a complete stop overnight.  I did my best to explain to M everyday.  “Bus, bus school school”, M asked everyday for awhile.  My repetitiveness of  “M, no bus or school today” over time was enough for him to understand.  We decided to create a fun school enviroment at home for M.  I found a large etch-o-sketch, tricycle, sensory swing and trampoline for him to use during gross motor activities.  Of course, his therapists and teachers came up with lesson plans for M.  However, he was confused seeing his teachers in the computer.  He would run back and forth making sounds at the screen.  The last day of school, the principal had a drive-by day.  We were able to pick-up final report card and other items our child may have left at school.  M started crying seeing his teacher and school.  Yes, I did talk to M that morning about going to his school.  Honestly a part of life is being able to talk, it’s heartbreaking when I see M not understanding or confused.  That brings me to the subject of race.  Realistically, I can not shield M completely from everything unkind.  “Yes, you’re beautiful  and you can be awesome with Jehovah”, I tell M everyday.  As a mother of a beautiful brown child on the autism spectrum,  I do worry.  What do people see?  Will they have a open-heart?  At this time, M do not see race as an issue.  He is fascinated by different hues of color.  On the other hand, he does notice or react to people actions toward him.  He lights up when someone takes the time to talk to him kindly.  If everyone talk honest and kind to one another; we’ll find solutions and connections.  True, our experiences are completely different.  However, seeing the glass from underneath with M; everyone regardless of hue and ability is completely beautiful!  (  Acts 10:34-35)

Simply an autism mom having a talk

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Our Covid-19 Story

Always laugh when you can.  It is cheap medicine…Lord Byron.  Everyone has been touched by the covid-19 pandemic.  Our family was no exception.  Although we have been following CDC and state guidelines, doesn’t mean everyone else do.  Our story of covid-19 begun about three weeks ago, I was only running into the store to get essential items for our family.  As a precaution since this whole pandemic started, we have kept M away from anyone due to his health issues.  True a mask would have been handy while in the store; but due to some people hoarding finding masks,  tissue, lysol and gloves were impossible.  Moving forward, I was standing in the check outline with my buggy.  Yes, I made sure to maintain at least six feet distance with the lady in front of me.  However, a lady with no buggy came up behind me.  She started coughing.  I could feel her breath on the back on my neck.  I turned around to give her the eye (cover your cough).  She did not but instead kept coughing.  Hence, I moved to the front of my buggy to put space in between us.  Other customers were looking at her too.   Once in the car, I wiped my hands and neck with sanitizer.  After several days, I developed a really awful sore throat.  It would come and go with a vengeance.  So after four days of dealing with it, I called teladoc.  Noteworthy, on the third day on top of sore throat a new problem of headaches appeared.  They were unusual headaches, I never experienced before.  All this time I was still trying to take care of M even when feeling so drain.  The teladoc informed me that my concerns or symptoms were that of covid-19.  I was confused because there was no fever.  He noted that a person could be systematic or a-systematic and spread the virus.  He recommended self-quarantine along with M plus husband.  Thus, I requested to be tested for covid-19.   However, I learned my primary health care provider has to request it.  So at 7:45 a.m the next day, I am standing outside my doctors’ office.  The new procedure consist of waiting outside for a nurse to triage you and then you wait in the car.  I finally got a call on my cell phone.  They were hesitant about seeing me given my symptoms, by this point I had developed a cough.  I pleaded my case to be seen again by another doctor and be tested.  After waiting some more in the car, they finally agreed to see me.  I was given a mask and taken to back.  I understand that my age kicked me out of the criteria for testing, but on the news they said testing was available for everyone.  On the contrary, I sense my doctor was wrestling with do I deserve to be tested.  Apparently, the covid-19 testing was limited.  I reminded the doctor of my underlying health conditions and symptoms.  It seem like eternity I waited in the room by myself.  Finally, the doctor came back into the room with mask on.  At first, he recommended writing a referral for me to be tested at a drive thru site, that was taking place around 11 to about 12 or until they run out.  I know I am not the smartest person in the world, however, I reasoned with the doctor (why go wait another two hours to be tested and take the chance they run out before I am seen; then have to come back to doctor to be seen again; while I am already here just test me).  After the doctor left the room again, I could hear nurses and doctor talking about my situation.  Later a nurse came in with PPE on to test me for strep throat.  Of course, it came back negative.  The doctor returned and stated my throat was indeed inflamed badly.  He finally agreed to give me the convid-19 test.   The test was given by a nurse in full PPE gear.  It would be a long week of isolation before my phone call, to let me know to add another week of family isolation until I am symptom free.  The bright side so far, M seem happy and symptom free…he keep telling me ‘love you’  each time he see me.  I am so thankful to be home with my family during this pandemic.

Simply an autism mom resting at home

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