Manners

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others.  If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use…Emily Post.  In the foundation of our upbringing lay our understanding of manners.  I remember growing up with my siblings, our mom taught us that if someone was old enough to be your parent, you respectfully used the terms ‘yes sir/mam or no sir/mam.’   Also, our grandma and mom instilled in us that manners included giving your best and considering others before yourself.  I can recall when guest would come to our home, my mom insisted our guest come first in eating.  In truth, that is in harmony with the beautiful divine expressions at 1 Corinthians chapter 13.  I believe this is the basis for good manners.  This goes beyond superficial behavior, it encompass our heart to feel deeply.  Thus, leading our attitude toward kindness and considering others.  This is something that does not cost us money.  Instead, manners does require time and effort to learn.  I don’t feel having good manners mean a individual is passive. On the contrary, I believe manners help us be patience with others and understand consequences of our actions.  The other week M was doing water therapy.  Hence, I decided to get him a little kitty pool.  M was so excited.  I was happy that he actually sat down in the water without having a meltdown.  True, he did not care for the floating toys in the water.  Hence, the toys had to go!  However, M had a blast just splashing the water everywhere with his hands and feet.  He even splashed me but said “Sorry.”  However, I don’t think that sorry was sincere because he kept doing it and laughing afterwards while saying sorry each time.  I was amazed at least he used the word in the right context.  Afterwards while drying him off, M said “thank you, thank you!”  I realized he was showing gratitude for his experience.  I responded with “You’re welcome!”  M is reminding me that manners is still valuable in fostering happiness in a home and eliminating undue frictions with others.

Simply an autism mom thinking

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Puzzle Pieces

There are no extra pieces in the universe. Everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill, and every piece must fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle…Deepak Chopra.  The universal symbol for autism spectrum disorder is puzzle pieces.  I love to believe such puzzle pieces represent the beauty of an individual autism spectrum disorder complex brain.  There is a wide range of variables that make each individual with autism unique, maybe that is what make their possibilities limitless.  Perhaps, everyone of us are well crafted puzzle pieces by our Creator.  Hence, our unique experiences in life create shimmers of light and color onto our puzzle piece.  Regardless of our abilities, I am hopeful that each of our puzzle piece fit uniquely and memorable in someone else’s life.  True sometimes M puzzle piece fit nicely, other times his puzzle piece is awkward leading to frustration.   I enjoy seeing M face light up, like when he is around other children.  I can tell he wants to be engaging with them but often times his complex mind struggles.  Often, we try to have other children over to our home.  M get so excited.  He now on his own say “go room, go room…please!”  For a brief time M fit right in, he would be laughing and just being a kid.  Then there are those times he becomes overstimulated or overwhelmed.  In which case he no longer fit in, M need time and space to regulate his emotions.  I understand you can’t force puzzle pieces to fit together in odd ways, you have to consider each piece shape and work out how they will best fit without damaging each piece.  I want M to value/understand his puzzle piece.  To be honest, we all have puzzling ways we’re trying to figure out.  So it’s ok if we have moments of not fitting in, our odd/unique puzzle shape will find places in our vast world puzzle to click in place.  M is teaching me our puzzle piece may not always fit other puzzle pieces, nevertheless, we do have a place in our Creator’s beautiful universal puzzle.

Simply an autism mom thinking

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Learning

Children have such vibrant minds. They need to play. They need to be creative. They need to imagine. It’s so important for their sense of self-discovery. And it helps them learn problem-solving…Jan Brett.  We’re always learning. In truth, life is not always easy. However, we are gifted with the ability to learn from our experiences. It’s that ability that impact our problem-solving skills. Perhaps for every problem we encounter a seed is planted. How we respond to a problem will either nourish the seed to growth or cause it to be stigment. For example, M has been working on drinking from an adaptive cup that controls the flow of liquid. Yesterday, M was drinking from such cup. However, all of a sudden he accidently dropped the cup. Milk spilled onto the floor. Usually when something like this happen, M have frustration meltdown. Hence, I would try calming him down by reassuring that it’s o.k accidents happen, lets clean it up together. However, M surprised me yesterday. He did not have a meltdown. Instead, he said “OOOH NO! Towel, please.” I responded “Yes M, let’s get the towel to clean up.” I gave M the towel. He placed it over the spilled milk. In a classic momma move, he proceeded to use his foot to move the towel around for clean up. Afterwards, he handed the towel back to me and said “All done.” M connected previous experiences to problem-solve. M is teaching me…we can gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience…thus enabling us to be better at problem-solving. No more crying over spilled milk!

Simply an autism mom learning

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