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I supposed our human nature compel us to want to give the best to our children. Sometimes it can be financially expensive to provide all the things you want to give to your child. For many parents who have children like M the extra numerical cost for basic needs often surpass wants. However just like many parents of children like M, when you notice a beautiful talent your child posses money becomes obsolete. One day I noticed M  knocking on various objects. M would turn head side ways to listen to the different sounds each knock made. In the process M would be humming, flapping one hand and bouncing on the tip of toes. M did this interesting behavior for a couple of days. I begun to wonder was M listening to the rhythm sounds of objects. Yes, an idea came to me that perhaps M would love a musical drum set or even keyboard. I imaged all the beautiful musical sounds M could produce on such instruments. I was so excited for the musical instrument purchase for M that I thought wrapping it in beautiful blue wrapping paper would be awesome. I admit adding the big bow on top may have been over kill. I placed the gift in M room for M to discover enhancing the excitement. True, parents love to see their children overjoyed when being presented with a gift. We play over in our mind their reaction or response. However, on that day no matter how hard I tried M would not come into the room. Instead, M had discovered by knocking on wooden doors and metal doors the most amazing sound effects. In fact, M had so much enjoyment/excitement running all around the house knocking on the doors. In that moment M thought me that joy/happiness or excitement can come from the simplest thing. Sometimes we already have what was needed like for M wooden/metal doors and pots/pans to make beautiful musical sounds. Interestingly, M finally did notice the gift…three days later.

Simply an autism mom learning

Today was a big day. We had awaken before dawn. This was not going to be a typical morning routine for M. I had prepared myself ahead of time for this day. I even explained to M everyday as best as I could before this day arrived. I am sure like most parents preparation is important when a major event is about to happen for your child. However as M mom, I wondered did I do enough for M to understand. I rushed through the house trying to beat the clock “I 10 by 10” as the expression goes. Interestingly, M just hummed along as if whatever not worrying about time. In fact after I finishing dressing myself, I focused attention on getting M ready. M had made way to our bedroom and was intently observing the new bed spread on our bed. I repeatedly called for M to focus on getting dress. However, M kept intensely staring at the bed spread all the while humming and twirling hands. Yes, I was in a rush but the more I tried to force M to get dress while in this mode the more frustrating M became. In that moment, I realized M was stemming. I noticed how M was rocking back/forth, humming, turning head sideways, and twirling hands. It dawn on me that although the paisley multi colored spread appeared pretty to my eyes, that perhaps to M it had a whole lot of synodic patterns and colors to process. M could not move on until this new bed spread had been processed. Granted it took M about another ten to fifteen minutes to complete this process. Afterwards, M peacefully got dressed. True we ran a few minutes late to M hospital appointment. However, M taught me that it’s important to slow down and see things from another person perspective by doing so you can avoid a lot of unnecessary frustration.

Simply a autistic mom learning

Often times we as adults become so busy with life in general that we forget sometimes to pay attention to the smallest things in life. In the first two weeks of school M struggled with the new  upside down world of a new school. True, M did received a private tour of the school. However, for M it was so confusing now filled with strange, loud, and unusually sounds. The lights seem brighter or perhaps flashing too much for the eyes to behold. Whats that smell or where all these people who are my size coming from such questions bouncing off in Ms’ brain. Not to mention many different adult voices and faces to process. M was experiencing sensory overload. In this state M mind divided into fight or flight mode. As M mom, I prayed each day for those at the school responsible for M care to have patience with my confused M. I know that education primarily focus on academics. Hence, children like M can become lost in this maze. However, all is not lost. Each day when M comes and leaves school, many classmates along with other children in the school welcomes and say good-bye to M. This has impacted M world so much that now M put forth great effort to say “heeeey” and “byeeeee”. Two beautiful words to M vocabulary. This thaught me that M is aware of peers because of their compassion to understand or accept M. A beautiful thing when compasion can bring a moutain down to a peeple not only for children like M but for all human being.

Simply a autism mom learning

In harmony with back to school shopping, many parents/grandparents enjoyed the tax-free weekend and back to school sales. It’s awesome when parents can save money especially on clothes or shoes for their children. However, parents like myself who have a child with special needs have a different method to shopping. True, M does not care about the latest fashion nor name brand labels. In fact, if it was up to M a simple tee undershirt and skippers would be norm to rock. However after driving all over town one weekend to find some shoes for M, I felt defeated. Although M did not care about color or brand of the shoes, M did care about the comfort/fit. Yes, M did not have to say a word but the expression and behavior testified to frustration in finding shoes to fit UFO/leg braces. Finally in the last store I ran into another parent in the same boat at that point I thought to myself why children like M do not have the easy luxury of variety of shoe options. That night as I tucked M little feet back under the covers, I realized it was completely understandable why M had meltdowns that day. That day M taught me many people have so many shoe options to purchase but for children like M just to find one pair of shoes to fit can often times be like finding a needle in a haystack. In my research online that night, I was so disappointed  that so many major shoe companies never consider designing shoes for children like my M to rock. Even my M can testify to deserving of options.

Simply an autism mom learning

In life sometimes expectations can be overwhelming or easily attainable. As M mom, I often shed many tears of frustration, joy, and heartbreak. I recall a school meeting some individuals felt M could not thrive in a typical classroom or gain no benefit from being among so-called normal peers. Often times people say things that feel like knives being stab in your heart. As I sat there in that meeting, my heart-felt like it was going to stop. My mind begins to wonder on images of M. For a moment their words faded from my ears. As the tears rolled down my face, I could vividly hear M say “love you”. In that moment, I realized doctors nor administrative know everything. After all, M was now communicating limited one too two words when before there were none. Somehow in the mist of everyone I stood up for M. Yes M see the world differently, but nobody will put M in the corner nor will they dismiss the possibilities M possesses. That evening M came and sat next to me on the sofa. M reached over and took my hand to hold. M never said a word nor looked into my eyes. However as I watched him humming next to me, I started to cry. In this rare moment, I felt like M sensed I needed to be comforted. That day M taught me that progress no matter how minor it maybe to outside world for children like M it’s still progress worth standing up and celebrating.

Simply an autism mom learning