Unconditional love really exists in each of us.  It’s part of our deep inner being.  It’s not so much an active emotion as a state of being.  It’s not ‘I love you’ for this or that reason, not ‘I love you if you love me.’  It’s love for no reason, love without an object…Ram Dass.  Once M was born my heart was open more to understanding the language of ‘I love you’.  I think all of us need a measure of reassurance that we’re loved.  Perhaps having someone trying to understand us, even if they don’t fully agree or perfectly understand our quirkiness.  ‘I love you’ goes beyond words, I truly believe it’s honesty in meaning it and our actions backing it up.  The older I get everyday little things means so much in expressing ‘I love you’; like coming home and your mate fix your favorite meal or on a tired day your child gives you a big hug or having your feet massage by your mate while sipping hot tea.  Honestly, in my heart those ‘I love you’ are beautiful treasures that’s often more valuable than expression of big things.  There are million different ways each us demonstrate ‘I love you.’  Today, M had an amazing day at school and therapy.  In fact, it has been a no meltdown day.  Hence, I treated M to a little toy car.  However, M was not impressed.  He threw the toy car on the floor of our car.  I said “M, I love you!”  M said nothing, he just kept humming.  Later, I stopped to get something to drink at a fast food chain.  I requested two extra straws.  I handed the two wrap straws to M.  If I was not driving, I would have loved to record M’s reaction.  His eyes lighted up and he kept saying ” love you, love you!”  You would think I handed  him the world.  M has taught me that ‘I love you’ is a language that go beyond words.  Before M had words, he showed his love by putting his little toes on me before he could go to sleep or laying his head on my arm briefly or giving me a smile…so many little ways M show his love…you just have to open your heart to his beautiful world.

Simply an autism mom expressing ‘I love you’



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